In 1969, nearly fifty years after Grandpa first became a father, he was the proud patriarch of a family of seven children, their spouses and 20-some grandchildren. In that year I wrote to tell him I was pregnant (with my first-born Lee, now 40 and a father himself). The letter below was Grandpa's response. It is in my personal collection of all-time favorite letters. I am delighted to share it with you all and hereby dedicate this wonderful essay to all expectant and new parents in the Boyer family.
June 25th (1969)
Dear Sylvia,
As usual I am slow in answering your letter. Not only your letter but any letters, it seems to become a habit as I get older. But then your letter give me something of a jolt, after going through the ordeal or shall we say ordeals of twenty grand-children. Now this — a great-grandfather. Oh, I’m sure I can take it, I am very glad you told me so soon it gives me time to condition myself for my new status of great-grandfather.
As for giving you advice: They (the babies) should come with instructions like an electric mixer or a lawn mower, but unfortunately they dont. Oh you can get lots of advice especitly frome people that never had children, you can get books on how to raise children, what to do and what not to do. But mostly they havent got the answers. The little Tykes are unpredictable, demanding and clever. They have you figured out long before you give them credit for figuring. They seem to know frome the start they can get food by kicking and howling. It does not take them long to learn they can get attention the same way. The older they get the more attention they demand. They have been keeping Mothers busy and worried for ages. Mothers have tried many things.
There was the era of the witches. When baby started cutting capers Mamma would remember a neighbor had borrowed a cup of sugar or maybe it was a measure of cornmeal. She (the neighbor) had taken reather a long look at the baby, had made some remark about it being such a pretty child. Baby was asleep in the cradle. That must have been the witch that took baby’s rest. A witch must first borrow something frome you before she can cast spells around your house (remember that).
So Mamma takes Junior or Fanny as the case may be down the road to the old lady who can powwow for a lot of things. She can make a thief bring back a stolen article and if a sweetheart shows signs of loosing intrest, she has a love powder if dropped in his wine or coffee it will rekindle the dieing flame. She can do a lot of other things. The Mother tells her about lending the woman the cornmeal and the woman going in the roome and looking at the baby while she was getting the cornmeal. So she does not know if she tutched the baby or not. But since that time the baby hasent had any rest.
The old lady looks at the baby, nods her head, lays the baby on the kitchen table, makes some motions with her hands and mumbles some words which of course the Mother does not understand. She gives the Mother a little bag tied shut with a red string. What ever is in the bag smells awful. Keep it close to the baby, it will keep the evil spirits away. Go now when you get home the spell will be broken. Dont let her in the house or lent her anything. If you have the doore open lay the broome across the doore sill. The Hex will not step across it.
The Mother is very kind to the little one when she gets home. She puts the broome across the doore sill, tucks the little bag under the blanket, sets on the rocking chair, cuddles the little one close to her, starts rocking and singing a baby song. This is just what the little Tyke wanted. He goes to sleep, the Hexes spell is broken, the Mother is happy.
The Hexes faded out somewhere around the 1900s. You heard about a woman now and then that was supposed to have Hexing Powers. But no one paid much attention. So they just seem to fade away.
I grew up in what may be called the catnip era. Junior starts yowling at night. You stand it as long as you can, then: Aint you going to do something? Aw, you pick him up I am awful sleepy. You take him in your arms and start the parade around the bedroome. This is not what Junior wanted. Your chest felt like layin against a board, your arms felt hard and uncomfortable. You carried him like you would an arm full of wood. You jarred him as you parated around the roome. So instead of getting quiet he turnes on more power. Mamma gets up, give him to me. She lays him against her sholder and starts patting him on the backside. He lets up some. She says Has the little Man got a belly ake? Get some catnip tea. You say Oh no. We have to do something for the poore child. By her look and tone of her voice you know you’d better get the tea. So you walk around the yard in your nightshirt with a lantern hunting catnip. When you find a stalk you pull off a handful, take it to the house. Junior has stopped crying he sobs now and then. You brew the tea put some sugar in it. Mamma tests it to see that it is the right tempreture. You pore it in the bottle and Junior goes to work on it. He drinks the tea. Mamma lays him against her sholder and pats him. He burps a couple of times then goes to sleep. Mamma tucks him in the crib. You go back to bed you are just in a good sleep when the alarm goes off.
Of course there were variations. Junior didn’t always get belly ake at night. Catnip was widely used especilty among people in the country. Mabe it was a Pennsylvania Dutch remendy. But I am sure it cured many a belly ake.
Now the psychologist has taken over. I am afraid our little friend is not doing so well. He is fed by the clock you dont pick him up when he cries that is exercice for him. And you must never never rock him. If you pick him up and cuddle him you will spoil him. They may be right but give me the catnip methot. There is nothing dearer or more loveable than that little bit of humanity laying on its back kicking up its legs batting his arms and giving you that precious baby smile when you talk to him.
Sylvia, Grandma and I are very happy for you. I think you are so wise in having your family now instead of being a professional woman first. You could not enjoy your family as you will now. We enjoyed your visit very much. You know the latchstring is always out for you.
Tomorrow I will take Mother in to Aunt Ethel then I will visit my Sister Millie at the home. Mother and I are about the same as when you was here. It is now almost 3 AM. I will close and go to bed, so wishing you a very pleasant good night,
Love frome Grandma and Grandpa
No comments:
Post a Comment